brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
