well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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