You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize