Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
time to smoke my breakfast
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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