apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
