I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize