IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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