Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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