you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
