Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
