i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
