North Korea, Best Korea!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
