in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
