somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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