the day after is always just damage control
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
