im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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