I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
