I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We need to get me chipped asap
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
