hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
