Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
