either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize