I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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