If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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