There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Pants are for mortals
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
