It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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