The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
