He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
