Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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