Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
