also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
