A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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