Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
