I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need moral support for this bender
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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