I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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