Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
