Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
