im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can tuck mytits in my pants
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
