Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize