I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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