I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there was a trapeze. enough said
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
