your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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