I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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