so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hippo gnu deer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
