just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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