was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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