That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
