I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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