My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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