Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
