why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
