Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
