I think i peed on brittanys purse
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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