youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
