What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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