Just fell off a train. Bad.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
