He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize