I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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