If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
