ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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