It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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