Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
