Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
